13 June 2025
From struggle to fulfillment: how self-insight makes the difference
Six years ago a customer came to see me. She was stuck in her job and felt increasingly out of place. In addition, she discovered that she was gifted after an IQ test. She wondered if this could play a role...
She felt different at work: she was bored, finished faster than colleagues (in 3.5 days what others did in 5 days), and struggled with feelings of guilt. She tried to adjust her pace, but it didn't work. Her proposals were often ignored, only to be picked up months later — through someone else. Constantly attuning to her work environment, the slow pace and the thinking of others exhausted her.
The recognition of her giftedness was a turning point. We started working together: which learning and personal characteristics were important for her? What did she need in her job? And above all: who was she, regardless of the expectations of others?
The insights that followed brought peace and direction. She made a brave decision: she quit her job and started a PhD at the UA, on a subject she was really fascinated by.
That choice changed everything.
She ended up in an environment that gave her the space to really be herself: she was given confidence, autonomy and a promoter who not only supported her, but also actively thought along and gave her the mandate to make her own choices. She worked within a clear vision, with broad outlines that she was allowed to fill in her own way. Her fast, deep and creative thinking was not only accepted, but expected.
What does her story teach us?
Giftedness is not a luxury problem or label. It has an impact on your entire being and is associated with specific needs. And recognizing those needs is not a weakness, but a condition for achieving your full potential.
If you want to flourish in your work as a gifted person, it helps to really get to know yourself:
- Who am I? Which characteristics apply to me? What do I need to feel good in my job?
- What drives me? Which values are essential to me? Where do I find meaning?
- What suits me in terms of content? Consider the degree of autonomy, the types of tasks, depth, variety or focus, opportunities, learning potential, and so on.
- What working environment do I need? Consider the way of collaboration, management style, pace, room for initiative.
- What are my core talents? What gives me energy? (just because you can do something doesn't mean you get energy from it)
Many gifted adults have learned to adapt. They restrain themselves not to be 'too fast, too critical, too intense, too different'. But that costs: Energy. Self-confidence. Meaning.
Giftedness requires self-knowledge and attunement, not integration.
And when you dare to take up that space, a surprising amount becomes possible.
Copyright © 2025 Valentine Van der Hauwaert – All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced in any form or by any means, whether electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission from the author. Sharing online is permitted provided the author is credited and a link to this article is included.
