When Gifted Adults Get Stuck in Support and Therapy

In supporting gifted adults, the same search often emerges: finding greater calm in the mind, achieving a better balance between work and personal life, and making conscious career choices. At the same time, many experience a clear mismatch with their environment. They feel misunderstood, experience themselves as outsiders, or search intensely for meaning and impact. This is often accompanied by self-doubt, reduced self-confidence, and lower self-esteem.

A Recognizable Pattern Among Gifted Help-Seekers

This pattern appears more broadly across care and coaching practice. Gifted adults form a challenging group of clients — not because they are “difficult,” but because their cognitive complexity, autonomy, and analytical sharpness require a professional who is confident and well-grounded.

Many of these clients have already gone through a trajectory. Sometimes several. They received diagnoses, followed therapies, and did what was asked of them. They immersed themselves in labels, read literature about ADHD, autism spectrum conditions, burnout, PTSD, or depression. Some embrace the label; others resist it. And yet a lingering feeling often remains: something doesn’t quite fit in the way I am being seen. When giftedness is not explicitly taken into account in the guidance process, underlying patterns often persist.

The book Hoogbegaafde hulpzoekers [Gifted Help-Seekers] describes this clearly (Hoiting & Nauta, 2022). Gifted clients who seek support in mental health care do not always receive help that truly fits their needs. Not because of unwillingness, but because of a lack of specific knowledge and experience regarding giftedness in adults. Questions such as “Why doesn’t my therapist understand me?” or “Is my diagnosis actually correct?” are therefore far from uncommon. Many clients find it difficult to trust a professional and may first test the therapist before fully engaging.

The book by Lukien Hoiting and Noks Nauta brings attention to a necessary and long underexposed perspective: gifted adults who get stuck and seek help within mental health care. Its premise is clear: giftedness itself is not a disorder, but a lack of recognition — and especially a lack of appropriate attunement — can lead to misdiagnoses, ineffective support, and prolonged psychological suffering. The book shows how the therapeutic relationship comes under pressure when there is no shared understanding of how someone thinks.

Gifted clients may experience a professional as too slow in understanding, too rigid or protocol-driven, insufficiently innovative in their thinking, superficial in their analysis, or too quick to draw conclusions. This does not mean the professional is incompetent. It often points to a mismatch in cognitive pace, level of abstraction, or need for autonomy, which can leave the client feeling that their way of thinking is not fully seen or followed.

For care professionals, this is not a reproach but an invitation to refine their approach. Interventions only work when the working relationship is solid. And with gifted adults, that relationship often requires explicit recognition of their way of thinking — and, equally, a different way of guiding and coaching.

Coaching Aligned with Gifted Functioning

When cognitive complexity is not sufficiently taken into account, a mismatch quickly arises. Behavior may then be interpreted as resistance, a lack of motivation, or rigidity, while in reality it may stem from understimulation, a lack of autonomy, or a cognitive pace in the guidance that is simply too slow.

This is precisely where well-attuned coaching can play a crucial role. It helps gifted individuals recognize and harness their unique potential, and supports them in dealing with perfectionism, fear of failure, and social challenges. Coaching can also help them gain insight into their thinking patterns, develop self-acceptance, and find a sustainable balance between work and personal life.

Important coaching themes in giftedness include, among others:

• Insight and self-acceptance: learning to recognize that “being different is okay” and distinguishing between learned behaviors and intrinsic traits.

• Career development: support in finding meaningful work and navigating the challenges of suitable work environments.

• Emotional and social support: guidance in dealing with perfectionism, fear of failure, and building meaningful connections with others.

• Navigating periods of getting stuck: practical strategies for dealing with motivational difficulties, resistance to authority, and rapid cognitive development.

• Practical growth strategies: managing differences in work pace, setting realistic goals, and maintaining a healthy balance.

Coaching provides a safe space for reflection and growth and contributes to greater well-being and more effective functioning. Specialized guidance can make a meaningful difference here: a coach with experience in giftedness can demonstrate deeper understanding, which is essential for building trust and enabling sustainable change.

What Does This Ask of Care Professionals?

For therapists, psychologists, and coaches, this does not mean they need to abandon their entire professional framework. It does mean remaining attentive to cognitive complexity as a possible explanatory factor. Interventions only work when the working relationship is strong, and with gifted adults that relationship often requires explicit recognition of their way of thinking.

When someone feels truly understood for the first time in how their mind works, self-doubt often begins to diminish. And it is precisely there that space for change emerges.

For care professionals who notice that traditional frameworks do not always align well with gifted adults, further specialization can be helpful.

Within our expert network of Hoogbloeier®, Isabelle Van de Vijver, together with two colleagues, offers training programs on coaching gifted adults. These programs build on both practical experience and scientific foundations, with attention to identity, motivation, and the sustainable use of talent.

Training for Professionals (in Dutch)

Hoogbloeier – Practical Coaching Techniques for Gifted Adults

For professionals, therapists, and coaches

A training focused on the practical application of coaching techniques and methods for working with gifted adults.

• Date: To be confirmed

• Trainers: Isabelle Van de Vijver & Katrien Bartholomeussen

• More information:
  https://www.hoogbloeier.be/nl/agenda-professionelen/

Sofro Balance & 2boots – The Art of Coaching Conversations

For parents, teachers, therapists, and coaches

A five-day training on effective communication and conducting coaching conversations, with attention to dealing with resistance and unlocking talent. Both beginners and experienced practitioners are welcome.

Each training day focuses on a specific theme, such as communication, relationship building, appreciation, constructive confrontation, and inspiration.

• Dates: April 24 & 25, May 22 & 23, June 19 & 27 (extra certification day) 2026

• Trainers: Isabelle Van de Vijver & Peter Massy

• More information:
  https://www.2boots.be/training-coachend-begeleiden.

Would you like deeper insight into how models such as Dabrowski’s theory and the Delphi model can contribute to your personal development? Consider our training module specifically designed for gifted adults, or get in touch with one of our experts who offer individual guidance. Discover how to better navigate intensity, inner conflicts, and personal growth, and how to make the most of your unique capacities.

References

• Hoiting, L., Nauta, N. (2022). Hoogbegaafde hulpzoekers. Wanneer je er zelf niet uitkomt. [Gifted Help-Seekers: When You Can’t Figure It Out on Your Own]. IHBV / BigBusinessPublishers.

Copyright © 2026 Dr. Sabine Sypré – All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced in any form or by any means, whether electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission from the author. Sharing online is permitted provided the author is credited and a link to this article is included.