3 October 2025
Fathers and Giftedness: An Important Yet Different Role
Yesterday, I had an unexpected conversation with my dermatologist. While she was working, we started talking about her son. He had recently been tested for giftedness—not so much because he was struggling at school, but because there was confusion and doubt at home. Not from her, though. She had long sensed that her son thought differently, with questions, interests, and learning processes that were noticeably fast and deep. The classic signs: a great capacity to learn, a sharp memory, quick thinking and learning. But the father? He didn’t believe it.
Fathers play an important—yet often invisible—role in the talent development of gifted children; their involvement is typically functionally distant, strategic, and future-oriented, which makes it less immediately noticeable than that of mothers.
Research shows that fathers of gifted children tend to emphasize autonomy, language stimulation, and creativity, and that their parenting style—especially when authoritative—strongly contributes to motivation, self-confidence, and cognitive growth.
The impact of fathers is greatest when they consciously attune to their child’s way of thinking and needs: open conversations, space for experimentation, modelling curiosity, and a warm, supportive relationship form the core of effective guidance.
He just thought his son was curious. Smart, yes. But gifted? No, that was a label for overambitious parents, in his opinion. It wasn’t until the test results came back that the pieces fell into place. Not just for his son, but for himself as well. “I see so much of myself in him,” he said. And yet… he still resisted the label. As if naming the giftedness would somehow change who his son is.
Why is that? Why do mothers often recognize it earlier? Why do fathers sometimes resist acknowledging it, even when they secretly see themselves in it?
Fathers: Not Absent, But Differently Involved
Although fathers play an important role in their children’s lives in practice, surprisingly little is known about how exactly they contribute to talent development. Research on the role of fathers in talent development is scarce, and studies focusing specifically on gifted children are even rarer (Lee, 2010). However, the few existing studies paint a mostly positive picture of fathers. Their role often remains underappreciated, especially compared to mothers, who are more likely to notice the first signs of giftedness. Yet, according to Lee (2010), fathers are no less important: they often serve as key sources of motivation, support, and act as professional role models for their children. Even though they more frequently fulfill the role of breadwinner, their influence on their child’s talent development proves to be essential.
In her literature review on the role of fathers in talent development within Western cultures, Lee (2010) argues that fathers are not so much absent but rather functionally involved from a distance. What may initially appear as aloofness often turns out to be a deliberate and supportive form of involvement. They provide strategic support: taking financial responsibility, planning long-term, and setting boundaries, while mothers tend to focus more on the emotional and daily developmental processes. Fathers operate almost like “mental architects”: they help design the framework within which development can take place, without always being physically or verbally present in the process.
This division of roles doesn’t have to be a problem—quite the opposite. Lee argues that children benefit from these complementary parenting roles, as long as there is mutual appreciation for each other’s contributions and the parenting goals are aligned. Moreover, her research shows that it’s not just the presence of fathers that contributes to a child’s talent development, but especially the quality of the relationship between father and mother. Fathers tend to be more actively involved when they share a warm, positive bond with their partner. It is this harmonious parental relationship that provides the fertile ground where talent can truly flourish.
What Makes the Father’s Role Unique?
Karnes and Shwedel (1987) showed that fathers of young gifted children differ from fathers of non-gifted children in their parenting practices. Their small-scale study found that fathers of gifted children are generally more involved in their child’s daily life. They more often take the time to read aloud and place a stronger emphasis on language development. Additionally, they respond more actively to their child’s need for autonomy and demonstrate greater awareness of how they handle their child’s self-image and emotional experiences. For example, fathers of gifted children read aloud on average three times longer per day than fathers of non-gifted children. They also more frequently discussed strategies to support their child’s self-confidence, such as avoiding negative remarks and showing unconditional appreciation for their child as a thinking and questioning individual.
Specifically regarding gifted boys, Runco and Albert (2005) investigated which parental traits influence the creative thinking abilities of these boys. They discovered that fathers who themselves enjoy thinking outside the box and place less value on “following the rules” are more likely to have sons who also think more creatively and communicate more originally. In other words, children often model their parents’ behavior. If a father considers being unconventional normal, he invites his child to think with an open and free mind as well.
It is also interesting that research by Pilarinos and Solomon (2016) shows systematic differences between mothers and fathers in parenting styles. Mothers more often exhibit an authoritative style—warm, responsive, and at the same time clearly setting limits. Fathers, on the other hand, tend to score higher on an authoritarian style, which focuses more on obedience and control, or on a permissive style, where almost anything is allowed. This difference in style may partly explain why mothers are more likely to notice signs of giftedness: their closer proximity and responsiveness enable them to detect subtle differences in behavior and development more quickly.
An additional dimension emerges from research by Weissler and Landau (1993), who found that fathers in families with more than one gifted child are more likely to adopt an authoritative parenting style. In other words, the more gifted children in a family, the more often fathers consciously choose a warm, clear, and responsive way of parenting.
These studies reveal a clear pattern: the father’s role is less straightforward. In families with gifted children, it is more often the mothers who actively seek help, engage in conversations with teachers, or deepen their understanding of cognitive development. As a result, fathers risk remaining in the background, even when they contribute valuable insights and qualities.
How can Fathers Increase their Impact?
At Hoogbloeier®, we believe awareness is the first step. Fathers don’t need to become a second mother, but they can consciously choose a form of involvement that fits their own style and meets their child’s needs. Research shows that such involvement can be very powerful, even when it differs from the way mothers engage (Lee, 2010; Karnes & Shwedel, 1987).
A key principle here is the authoritative parenting style: a style that combines warmth and engagement with clear boundaries and structure. Within self-determination theory, this would be described as an autonomy-supportive style combined with providing structure. Unlike authoritarian or permissive styles, this approach is characterized by dialogue, mutual respect, and high expectations within a safe environment. Fathers who adopt this style give their children the space to think and act independently while remaining close as a source of support and guidance.
In practice, this might look like: allowing your child to choose which book to read for a presentation, but helping them think through how to express their ideas clearly and engagingly. Or recognizing their sadness after a tough day while also helping them find ways to cope. You give freedom without letting go.
Fathers can also increase their impact by engaging in genuine, everyday conversations. Ask questions like, “What do you find so interesting about that?” or “How would you approach that?” By asking these questions, you show your child that you take their thinking seriously. Whether you’re building a complex LEGO structure together, brainstorming a physics problem, or watching a documentary, it’s about sharing that curiosity.
Giving space also plays a crucial role. Fathers who allow their child the freedom to experiment independently—whether it’s building a treehouse, writing stories, or designing a board game—help build their child’s confidence in their own abilities. This aligns with what Karnes and Shwedel (1987) observed: fathers of gifted children tend to focus more on fostering autonomy and self-direction.
Encouraging creativity is another important aspect. As Runco and Albert (2005) showed, fathers who think non-conformistically themselves encourage their children to think originally and freely. In practice, this might mean joining in on imaginative play, approaching a problem from unexpected angles together, or simply being willing to admit when you don’t know the answer.
We also must not overlook the emotional aspect. Although fathers often start out with a more authoritarian or permissive parenting style (Pilarinos & Solomon, 2017), research by Weissler and Landau (1993) shows that fathers with multiple gifted children tend to evolve toward an authoritative style. Practically, this means, for example, not dismissing a child’s anger or sadness when something feels unfair, but rather acknowledging that experience and exploring it together.
Finally, there is also the power of modeling: fathers often serve as professional or philosophical role models. By sharing their own passions—whether technology, music, nature, or history—they demonstrate that learning and wonder are lifelong pursuits. Children mirror this, often in unexpected ways.
This form of involvement doesn’t require a complete overhaul of your role as a father. But it does require a conscious choice: to be available, attuned, and genuinely curious about your child—in your own way and with your own strengths.
Conclusion
Giftedness often requires intensive and tailored support. It starts at home, with parents who get to know, reflect, and nurture their child. Fathers play an equally important role as mothers, even though their involvement may look different. By including fathers in the conversation about talent, creativity, and emotional development, we strengthen the foundation on which a child can build. In other words, it is up to us, as the child’s environment, to respond to that exceptional potential—and the father’s role is an essential part of that.
Why do fathers often recognize giftedness later than mothers?
Mothers are typically more closely involved in their child’s daily development, which helps them pick up subtle signals earlier. Fathers tend to be functionally involved: they support strategically, from a distance and with a long-term focus. As a result, they often recognize giftedness only when clear performances or test results appear — or when they suddenly see themselves reflected in their child.
What makes the father’s role unique for gifted children?
Fathers often have a strong impact on autonomy, creativity, and perseverance. They stimulate independent thinking, give room to experiment, and frequently act as professional or content-based role models. Their own attitude toward non-conformity, learning, and curiosity directly influences how their child thinks, explores, and expresses ideas.
How can fathers strengthen their impact on their gifted child’s development?
By adopting an authoritative, autonomy-supportive style: combining warm involvement with clear structure. Asking open-ended questions, thinking creatively together, allowing space for independent projects, and acknowledging emotional experiences all make a significant difference. Small, sincere daily interactions often have more impact than major interventions.
References
Karnes, M. B., & Shwedel, A. (1987). Differences in attitudes and practices between fathers of young gifted and fathers of young non-gifted children. Gifted Child Quarterly, 31(2), 79-82.
Lee, S.-Y. (2010). Fathers’ roles in the process of talent development. Asia Pacific Education Review, 11(4), 497-513. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12564-010-9119-8
Pilarinos, V., & Solomon, C. R. (2016). Parenting Styles and Adjustment in Gifted Children. Gifted Child Quarterly, 61(1), 87-98. https://doi.org/10.1177/0016986216675351
Runco, M. A., & Albert, R. S. (2005). Parents' Personality and the Creative Potential of Exceptionally Gifted Boys. Creativity Research Journal, 17(4), 355-367. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15326934crj1704_7
Weissler, K., & Landau, E. (1993). Characteristics of families with no, one, or more than one gifted child.pdf. The Journal of Psychology, 127(2), 143-152.
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