An Everyday Genius: Self-realization for gifted adults

Sabine Sypré from Hoogbloeier® revised the article below from 2016 for us:

Discovering your True Self: A quest for authenticity

In a world where Simone always considered herself ordinary, the concept of giftedness came as a complete surprise. She had never imagined she could be different from those around her. However, when faced with challenges stemming from her giftedness, she gradually began to comprehend why she often felt out of place.

Once, the term 'giftedness' was taboo, rarely discussed in educational settings. However, nowadays, schools seem to pay more attention to it, especially concerning children. Nevertheless, for adults who feel different, the reasons remain shrouded in mystery.

"I, gifted? No, that's impossible." Simone set high standards for herself, always strict and self-critical. She continuously compared herself to others, convinced they were smarter, more capable, and more talented than her. The notion that she could be different seemed ludicrous.

However, as Simone matured, she realized that her giftedness entailed more than just academic or career success. It brought with it underachievement, disappointments, and a negative self-image. Despite others perceiving her as successful, she often felt misunderstood and disappointed.

When confronted with the choice to acknowledge her giftedness, Simone initially rejected it. The idea of a successful IQ test as proof seemed absurd. Yet, deep down, she knew there was more to it.

Ultimately, Simone came to understand that she was like a rough diamond, waiting to be polished. With some guidance and understanding, she could fully harness her potential and blossom into a brilliant diamond, with many beautiful facets.

From raw diamond to radiant souls

According to Jacobson and her book “The Gifted Adult”, the first step on the journey to self-fulfillment for gifted adults involves recognizing their giftedness. This acknowledgment can occur through an IQ test, a Mensa test, the Delphi giftedness model, or simple checklists of gifted adult traits.

Subsequently, gifted adults must break free from the notion that a high IQ is the sole indicator of giftedness. Instead, they need to grasp the characteristics typical of gifted personalities: intensity, complexity, and drive. Intensity manifests in high energy levels, numerous interests, emotional depth, and heightened sensitivity. Complexity is evident in rapid learning, thinking, curiosity, observation, and problem-solving ability. Drive translates into perfectionism, goal orientation, self-doubt, and high standards.

Only when these traits are viewed as positive aspects of giftedness can gifted adults distance themselves from the pressure to conform to the norm. Adopting a 'false self' to avoid disapproval becomes not only unhelpful but also hindering to unleashing the authentic self. Dealing with the challenges of giftedness, resisting criticism, and healing old wounds are necessary steps for progress.

By embracing differences and developing new coping strategies, gifted adults can shed their previous defense mechanisms and take control of their lives. They become less reactive and more responsive, finding novel ways to interact with others while still feeling connected.

The final step towards complete self-liberation is realizing that there was always a fundamental reason for being different. Discovering their mission enables them to fully leverage their traits to improve society. It's more than just being content with themselves or coming to terms with their uniqueness; it's more than just developing their talents or achieving personal success. Gifted adults who have found themselves become changemakers who take responsibility for a better future.

An invitation to authentic living

Gifted individuals often undergo three phases in their lives. Initially, they strive to maintain their authenticity but constantly face disapproval. Subsequently, they adapt and pretend to be someone else to fit in. Only in the final phase, with determination and a stroke of luck, can they dismantle their 'false self' and draw closer to their authentic selves. It's never too late to embark on this liberating journey.

What's holding you back?

References

• Jacobsen, M. (1999). The Gifted Adult: A Revolutionary Guide for Liberating Everyday Genius. Ballantine Books.

Copyright © 2024 Sabine Sypré – All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any other means, without prior written permission from the author. Sharing online is permitted provided the author is credited and a link to this article is included.