How can you recognize and reverse underachievement in your gifted child?
How can you recognize and reverse underachievement in your gifted child?
If your cognitively gifted child receives a lower grade a few times in one or more subjects, there's no need to panic immediately. Underachievement involves more than just getting a few failing grades. If you have excessively high expectations for the performance of your otherwise normally performing child, or if your child does not achieve good results in subjects you enjoyed or had talent for, then we are not talking about underachievement. Do not expect your child to fulfill your unfulfilled dream.
What exactly is underachievement and what isn't? How can you recognize it in a gifted child and what leads this child to underachieve? And most importantly, how can you prevent it and/or reverse the process?
Definition
A universally applicable definition of underachievement is: consistently performing below one's potential. Underachievement is therefore not a one-time event; a sudden drop in grades does not necessarily indicate underachievement.
On the contrary, underachievement is a chronic issue, meaning it persists for longer than a few months, and it is also pervasive, affecting other areas of life. Underachievers often lack motivation in everyday activities such as household chores and demonstrate a lack of perseverance in sports or other hobbies. It seems as though they give up on everything.
In the literature, two types of underachievement are mentioned: absolute (scoring well below average) and relative (scoring below their abilities but still above average). It is especially this latter group that poses a risk because they are invisible to teachers and caregivers. The importance of recognizing giftedness through testing, for example, cannot be denied here.
The main reason why a cognitively gifted child may underachieve often stems from the mismatch between their way of thinking and our educational system:
or they adapt to the level of the group because they feel social pressure and want to be accepted;
or they have not developed good learning strategies and perseverance because they have not been sufficiently challenged and/or received adequate guidance;
or the teaching method is not tailored to how they absorb the material;
or they are demotivated by a curriculum that does not match their developmental level;
or the transition between primary and secondary education is too significant, causing them to become desperate and give up; ...
Recognition
In the tables below, you'll find external characteristics that can help you identify an underachiever. The second table outlines the internal character traits that lead to these outward behaviors. Naturally, not all characteristics need to occur simultaneously.
External characteristics of gifted underachievers
- Lack of effort and initiative, both for academic matters and for everyday tasks such as emptying the dishwasher, setting the table, tidying clothes, etc.
- Work is often left unfinished due to poor perseverance, resulting in half-finished drawings, knitting projects, unread books, etc.
- They lack focus and attention while working, easily becoming distracted and losing concentration.
- They exhibit poor work and study habits, dislike memorization and automation, tend to procrastinate these tasks, or seek other distractions.
- They barely respond to typical motivation techniques. Rewarding and punishing are thus ineffective, perhaps temporarily effective, but the trouble quickly resurfaces.
- Their performance varies and they are usually dissatisfied with themselves, though they may not admit it immediately.
- They lie about school, homework, appointments, and especially about their achievements. They constantly deceive themselves and others, believing their lies, but eventually become entangled in them.
- They set their standards either too high ("See, I can't do it anyway, so why bother trying?") or too low ("Even without trying, I still reach my set goal, so why make an effort?").
- They constantly avoid new challenges and learning activities. It is very difficult to provide already underachieving (gifted) students with challenges in the classroom. They typically exhibit avoidance behavior out of fear.
- They sometimes experience fear of failure and perfectionism. This fear may result from their perfectionism but can also be a consequence of underachievement itself.
- Teachers may recognize them when they perform poorly in many areas but suddenly show intense curiosity and passion for one area.
- They feel they are losing control over their own lives. They feel powerless and controlled by others. Some may exhibit extreme control over the few things they still have some power over, such as refusing to eat.
- They have low self-esteem which they mask behind tough, rebellious, or clownish behavior.
Character traits of gifted underachievers
- Lack of self-discipline, failure to take initiative, and lack of perseverance
- Avoid taking responsibility for their behavior and are also afraid of feelings of personal responsibility
- Are dependent on their work, exhibiting characteristics of 'learned helplessness': they feel they cannot influence the situation they are in and therefore take no action, letting everything be done by another
- Have an external locus of control: they attribute all blame for their failures to an external cause rather than themselves and attribute their successes to luck. They accept responsibility for successes but not for failures
- Have little self-control. Their emotions (sadness, frustration, pain, etc.) 'spill out' and they cannot control them well
- Have little self-awareness, and lack metacognitive skills. They reflect little on their learning process.
Allowing the student to follow a different learning program that better aligns with his or her level and way of thinking is the first and most important step toward reversing underachievement. However, the upbringing in the home environment also has a very significant influence on the behavior of the underachiever.
Parenting as Prevention
We encourage you, as a parent, to examine your own behavior closely: Are you possibly being too much of a "curling parent," excessively clearing the path for your child and thus depriving them of opportunities to experience failure on their own? Do you find yourself rushing to school when you realize at home that your son forgot his swim bag? Are you quick to stash a snack in your daughter's backpack when she forgets? Do you take charge of dressing your child, even though they are capable of doing it themselves, when you're running late? Are you constantly hovering over your child while they do their homework, or do you quiz your teenager daily to prepare for a test?
If these questions resonate with you, consider that as your child grows older and becomes independent (or are you sending them meals for a whole week?), they will need to learn to fend for themselves, and you won't be able to attend job interviews or other important events for them.
The most effective parenting strategy to prevent underachievement involves providing just enough guidance while also allowing for independence. However, we recognize that achieving this balance can be challenging.
Approach to Reversing Underachievement
Even in the most ideal upbringing scenarios, challenges can arise. Therefore, as a parent of a (potential) underachiever, it's advisable to begin by educating yourself about this subject. This will enable you to gain a comprehensive understanding of the underlying factors and equip you to offer appropriate guidance.
Before addressing the issue, take the time to introspect as a parent. Reflect on your values, vision, boundaries, space, role, and tasks. It's crucial to ensure alignment with your partner on these aspects. Furthermore, lead by example: demonstrate enthusiasm for your work, share your experiences of failure, and highlight how you have overcome obstacles. Additionally, refrain from venting frustrations about your boss or complaining about household chores.
Unleash a peaceful revolution:
- Never get angry when your child comes home with bad grades or forgets something..
- Don't get worked up, irritated, or blame your child, and don't convey that through your non-verbal communication
- Trust your child despite their lying
- Avoid using rewards or punishments
- Stop giving sermons
- Don't assist with tasks or tests too much.
On the other hand, talk to your child every day, engage in a brief conversation about school, but realize that initially you may encounter a lot of resistance to this. Persist!
- Inquire about the lesson content (not: how was school?)
- Ask if homework is completed
- Check if everything is ready
- Inquire about any grades received
- Ask if there's any upcoming work due
- Check if there are any tests scheduled for later in the week
- Discuss the desired grade your child aims to achieve
- Agree that for every grade below a 6, one additional hour of studying is required for that subject
- Discuss what went wrong with the test
- Ask what specific actions the child plans to take now.
Set goals, make plans, and teach this to your child in this way!
If the issues persist despite the above recommendations after several months, it's best to seek external help from a psychologist or therapist.
Addressing underachievement at Hoogbloeier®?
Underachievement presents a complex challenge often accompanied by significant frustration. It's as if these children display dual personas: one moment showcasing brilliant insights, the next exhibiting apathy and indifference. This duality poses a daunting task for both parents and educators when addressing the issue.
Inadequate educational provisions or insufficient guidance can lead gifted children to feel unchallenged and disinterested in learning. Consequently, they may struggle to cultivate vital skills like perseverance, initiative, discipline, and crucial metacognitive abilities such as planning and reflection. Over time, this may culminate in underachievement, contributing to a profoundly negative self-perception, discomfort, and overall unhappiness.
Through tailored individual support, we can assist children and adolescents who are already underachieving or at risk of underachievement. This approach empowers them to rediscover their inner strengths and fosters the development of resilience-building skills.
Mindset training for prevention
During an intake session, it will be determined whether an individual or group mindset training is appropriate.
In a few weekly sessions, the mindset theory is taught to the child or adolescent. These sessions take place in the practice rooms of our partners. The child/adolescent will receive their workbook to take home.
It is recommended that parents also educate themselves on a growth mindset to ensure they adopt the correct approach in their parenting. This way, we achieve maximum learning outcomes. You can request an additional advisory session for personal insight into fixed and growth mindsets, along with advice tailored to your situation. Alternatively, you can attend a themed evening on the subject.
The Power Within Yourself - for Children
Underachievement is not something that just happens suddenly. Therefore, the solution is not straightforward. With the method "The Power Within Yourself" by Jan Kuipers, we provide a way to help children (aged 7-12) who are already underachieving and children at risk of underachievement to rediscover their inner strength. This enables them to develop skills that will make them more resilient. In this method, children work in a creatively designed workbook where they gain insight into themselves, their environment, their own strengths, and their (negative) beliefs. Throughout the process, considerable attention is given to how they think about giftedness, whether they have a fixed mindset, and how we can shift this towards a growth mindset (Dweck).
During an intake session with the parents, we assess whether the suspicion of underachievement can be confirmed. Over fifteen to twenty weekly sessions, conversations are held with the child, focusing not on the problem but on solutions that come from the child themselves. These sessions take place in the practice rooms of our partners, and the child receives their own workbook to take home.
However, if it becomes evident that the child is struggling significantly psychologically, we refer them to a psychologist who can offer play therapy or other psychological support.
Wise on your way - for adolescents
For adolescents, we offer a variant based on this method: Wise on your way (Wijs op weg). The structure remains the same: in an introductory meeting, we learn more about the young person and determine where exactly the problem lies (at school or elsewhere) and explore the goal they want to pursue. In a series of follow-up meetings, we work on achieving this goal. This includes:
- self-awareness through a Qualities Game
- understanding of their environment through the Values Game
- understanding of what giftedness is through mindset
- insight into learning competencies through the Learning Skills Game
- learning to recognize negative beliefs and attempting to reframe them
We also make use of Jan Kuipers' Talent Development Model. After a number of sessions, we also assess what can be changed at school: is a consultation needed at school, or can the youth themselves bring about the change? A few weeks after the entire process has been completed, an evaluation session follows where we evaluate whether the approach has helped and where it can still be adjusted.
During an intake session with the parents and the youth present, we ascertain whether the suspicion of underachievement can be confirmed. In about fifteen to twenty weekly sessions, discussions are held with the youth, focusing not on the problem but on solutions that come from them. These sessions take place in the practice spaces of our partners. The youth receives their own workbook to take home.
If it becomes clear that the teenager is severely psychologically troubled, we will refer them to a psychologist who can offer psychological guidance.
In the list of experts, you will find their services. Look for a coach nearby who includes underachievement in their services and feel free to contact them for an intake session.
Copyright © 2023 dr. Sabine Sypré, Hoogbloeier® cvba – All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any other method, without the prior written permission of the author. Sharing online is permitted provided the author is credited and a link to this article is included.
